We usually limit our understanding of curiosity by talking about it as a force for retrieving information. Most see curiosity as an exclusively mental pursuit, rather than one that can stir our hearts and spirits. If we observe children, we can see how curiosity works, since it is essentially how they develop language and communication skills.
Curiosity can offer us a lot. “Deep curiosity” is the curiosity that calls to us as a force to create meaningful connections and conversions. It is the means to strengthen our relationships with ourselves and others, helping us to better deal with disagreements, revitalize decades-old marriages, or heal from old hurts or traumas.
Curiosity motivates us to ask questions that invite detail and surprise. Instead of asking “What do I need to do to make money?” or “How can I get the other person to agree with me?” we ask “What are my needs and desires?” or “How can I gain a deeper understanding of the other person’s views?” This kind of curiosity is an act of love-love for ourselves and others-and it is a practice that can lead us to deeper well-being and lasting relationships. Remove yourself from the equation. One step in the evolution of curiosity is to learn to embrace curiosity not as a threat to our identity, but as a way to discover ourselves and connect with others.
Understand that curiosity is not just about others. We often think of curiosity as a way to understand others, but it is equally important to use it to understand ourselves.
Free yourself from your preconceptions. Our biases can get in the way of our curiosity. We need to acknowledge these biases and try to put them aside so that we can see the world with a new perspective.
Try to inspire curiosity in others. Curiosity is contagious. When we are curious about others, we can encourage others to be curious about us. These simple steps can help us discover a deeper curiosity and use it to create relationships based on mutual understanding and respect. This doesn’t mean that we have to agree with everyone or let them take advantage of us, it means that we can approach differences and difficulties with an open mind and heart, and find ways to unite rather than divide. In the end, this can lead to a life full of adventure, pleasure, and meeting people who inspire us and trust us.
Source: translation by Scott Keoni Shigeoka, Bridging Differences Fellow for UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center.
@Discover Growth Therapy/ family counseling
Georgia Kryparakou
Psychologist MSc-Psychotherapist
